Picture your ideal sex session. Really, close your eyes and think about exactly what it would consist of. Then tell me, is it in the middle of the day with natural sunlight streaming in through the windows? Or it is under the cover of such inky darkness, you wouldn’t be able to see your hand if you waved it in front of your face? Turns out 60 percent of people are fans of lights-on sex, while the remaining 40 percent like getting it on with the lights off, according to a poll from Osram Sylvania. Which side of this divide do you fall on?
Let’s be real, sex is great either way. That doesn’t mean they don’t both have their advantages and potential drawbacks!
Advantage: You get an eyeful of things that will turn you on even more. Seeing each other naked can be visually stimulating. The lights being on allows you to see anything and everything that may help you become more aroused. You get a front-row seat to every bite of his lip and every surprised smile at whichever new trick you’ve added to your arsenal.
Disadvantage: If you’re not totally comfortable with how your body looks during sex, you might feel like there’s a spotlight highlighting your flaws. Being so preoccupied with the negative makes it almost impossible to enjoy the positive, namely the mind-bending orgasms. You can get over body insecurities by focusing instead on what you and your partner like about your body. By tuning in to the positive, you’ll be able to overcome any shame or inhibitions you might feel due to your appearance.
Advantage: Hello, sensory deprivation! Cutting off one sense can help enhance the others, so when you make it impossible to see anything, you boost your remaining senses. No wonder things can feel so much more stimulating in the dark! Plus, it’s great if you haven’t quite conquered body concerns. “Having the lights off can help you let go and avoid getting caught up in thoughts about your physical appearance,” says Greer.
Disadvantage: Sometimes what you want is to see all the glory of everything you’re doing. In those moments, going at it with the lights off might make you feel disconnected from your partner because you’re missing out on that aspect.
If you’re strictly a lights-off woman or having the lights on always gives you a thrill, may I suggest mixing it up if you don’t already? Adding a new element always helps keep things exciting. And if there’s a time when you want them off and your guy wants them on, or vice versa, meet in the middle and light a bunch of candles. The light is low enough to be seriously flattering, but you still get to see all the action. Best of both worlds!