Ask Billie November – Susan’s Question

Ask Billie

Dear Billie,

I am married to James and he is HIV positive. I knew he was positive before we got married but I loved him so I decided to go ahead. We have a daughter who was conceived in a lab under the supervision of doctors. Forward a few years and our relationship has deteriorated drastically. James has had a string of disappointments business-wise and has started drinking. He comes home late, reeking of alcohol and women’s perfume. I suspect he has been sleeping around and what scares me the most is that I’m sure he has unprotected sex. I’ve passed the stage of being angry about him cheating, I’m more worried about those poor women he may be infecting out there. I confronted him a few times about it but he denies the whole thing and becomes angry. What do I do!

Susan in Tesano

Dear Susan,

This is a tough one! Like you said, being cheated upon is hard enough to deal with but the idea of your husband infecting other women out there is spine-chilling! I agree that something must be done for everybody’s sake but maybe not by you. You will definitely need the support of perhaps a member of his family, I assume they are aware of his health status, or your family doctor or even your local pastor. Being in denial is quite common with HIV sufferers as they are often confused, angry and seemingly powerless. I suspect your husband is on medications in order to manage his condition, so maybe talking to the doctor at his clinic could be the way forward. They are confidentiality-bound and could talk to him as part of the emotional support usually provided to HIV sufferers. Please do not tackle this on your own as you will continue to be the recipient of his

My heart goes out to you! Let us know how you are, please.

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